HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS – 2
[Love] keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins
out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every
circumstance. . . . Love will last forever! 1 Cor. 13:5-8, NLT.
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rom a quarter century of
marriage counseling Willard Harley says that the number three need he’s heard
most from wives is honesty
and openness. Harley tells husbands, “Your mate should
know you better than anyone else in the world.“ But unless we open up our
hearts, gentlemen, she’ll never know.“ A sense of security is the bright golden
thread woven through all of a woman’s five basic needs. If a husband does not
keep up honest and open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust
and eventually destroys her security“ (p. 91).
The number three need for husbands? An attractive spouse.
That “simply means that your appearance makes someone feel good.“ Obviously beauty
is more than skin-deep, but physical attraction is often what ignited the first
flame. And while some husbands have emotional needs more important than their
need for an attractive wife, Harley counsels: „She should resemble the woman he
married“ (p. 108). Her number four need is financial support,
and his is domestic
support. In today’s economy most homes need two incomes,
but Harley suggests that wives prefer the family budget set up on his income
alone. She may choose to work, or have to work, but she looks to her husband
for financial security, while it is a source of security for him when she’s the
domestic manager of his life, family, house, and home. Clearly the strongest
and happiest marriages are a mutually embraced partnership on every front they
share.
The wife’s number five need: family commitment.
It is Harley’s ninth law of marriage: the best husband is a good father. Do it
together: meals, worship, church, outings, bike rides, beach, board games,
sporting events, bedtime stories, family projects, etc. Quantity edges out
quality on this front. Spend time together! And the husband’s number five need?
Admiration.
“Biographies of great men prove it, and the lives of all men show it: A man
simply thrives on a woman’s admiration“ (p. 158). Why tear him down in public
or in private – he becomes what you make him. “Love one another; as I have
loved you“ (John 13:34). When a man and woman pledge to love each other just as
God has loved them, you have the makings of a love story that will last
forever!
Taken from Chosen by Dwight Nelson
