Confucius’ Proverb

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich. 2 Cor. 8:9

The ancient Chinese sage Confucius once taught: “If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves.” It’s true, isn’t it? When I refuse to forgive the one who has wronged me and instead spend my energies and my life seeking to get even, I end up destroying myself as well, do I not?

In his book The Sunflower Simon Wiesenthal not only relates the dark story of his youthful decision not to accept a dying Nazi solder’s plea for forgiveness -  he also includes the responses of 53 distinguished men and women to his query, “What would you have done?” One of those respondents was best selling author and rabbi Harold Kushner, who in his essay tells the story of a woman in his congregation: “She is a single mother, divorced, working to support herself and three young children. She says to me, ‘since my husband walked out on us, every month is a struggle to pay our bills. I have to tell my kids we have no money to go to the movies, while he’s living it up with his new wife in another state. How can you tell me to forgive him?’ I answer her, ‘I’m not asking you to forgive him because what he did was acceptable. It wasn’t; it was mean and selfish. I’m asking you to forgive because he doesn’t deserve the power to live in your head and turn you into a bitter, angry woman. I’d like to see him out of your life emotionally as completely as he is out of it physically, but you keep holding on to him. You’re not hurting him by holding on to that resentment, but you’re hurting yourself’” (pp.185, 186).

You may be one of those who have been severely wounded at the hands of another. The pain you have suffered is so sharp, so deep, so close to the surface that it now throbs into nearly every waking hour of the day. Sometimes deep inside of you cries out for vengeance. And so you refuse to forgive so hurtful a wound so evil a wounder. But is it worth it in the end?

The rabbi and the sage are right. We destroy ourselves when we refuse to forgive. The Man on the center cross not only forgave us in His prayer – He forgave our perpetrators, too. Perhaps then it will be His greatest healing when we learn not only to pray for our own forgiveness, but also to pray for the forgiveness of our enemies.

Dwight Nelson – The Chosen