Welcome...
This is a list of questions for working the 12 Step program for
recovery from addictive behavior. You are invited to pick those questions that
seem most relevant to your recovery and answer them to the best of your
ability. In this way, you can gain the benefits of 12 Step recovery.
Step 1 - I admit that I am
powerless over my addiction and that my life has become unmanageable
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Have you seriously damaged your relationships with other people because
of your addictive behaviors? If so, list the relationships and how you damaged
them.
·
If other people have told you how you how your have hurt them, then
write down what they said.
·
Describe any missed appointments that resulted from your addictive
behaviors.
·
Describe any memory lapses where you cannot account for where you
were.
·
Describe any times that you cannot recall how you got home.
·
Describe times and ways that you have significantly neglected or
damaged relationships with your loved ones in order to indulge in your
addictive behaviors or because you were recovering from your addictive
behaviors.
·
Describe any illnesses that have resulted from your addictive
behaviors.
·
If your addictive behavior contributed to excessive spending,
describe the situations and why you did it.
·
Describe times that you have withdrawn from social interaction and
isolated yourself to an extreme degree and why.
·
Describe incidents where you expressed inappropriate anger towards
other people.
·
Describe embarrassing or humiliating incidents in your life. Were
they related to your addictive behaviors? If so, how were they related?
·
Describe attempts that you have made in the past to control your
addictive behaviors.How successful have they been? Do these attempts show the
powerlessness that you have over your addictive behaviors?
·
Do you feel any remorse from the ways that you have acted in your
life? If so, explain that in detail.
·
Describe any irrational or crazy set of events that have happened
since you began you addictive behavior. Did you rationalize this behavior? If
so, in what way?
·
Have you avoided people because they did not share in or approve of
your addictive behavior? If so, list these people and situations.
·
Describe any dreams that you have had that exhibit the
unmanageability or chaos of your life.
·
Can you pinpoint one time period in your life when your life began
to become extremely unmanageable? If so, describe that period of time and what
was happening.
·
Is there one incident or insight that made you realize that your
life was unmanageable? If so, describe it in detail.
·
How would you summarize the powerlessness and unmanageability of
your life in the face of your addiction?
Step 2 - I come to believe that
a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity
·
What was the religion that your family of origin practiced or
claimed to be a part of?
·
List the positive and negative aspects as you see it of your
family’s religion.
·
Have you made a break with your family's religion or have you
stayed with it? Explain why you have taken your particular course of action.
·
What other people have helped you to see the unmanageability of
your life? Do they believe in a Higher Power and if so describe their belief as
far as you know of it.
·
Recall some of your best friends from childhood or adolescence.
Describe what you liked best about them and what they liked best about you? Do
you think that these qualities have any relationship to a Higher Power?
Explain.
·
From the following list of groups, write Yes or No according to
whether you could share in their values or not?
Group
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Share Values?
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Twelve Step Group
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Conservative Christian church
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Liberal Christian church
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Synagogue
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Mosque
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Hindu temple
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Buddhist temple
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Unitarian or non-Christian church
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Non-religious ethical organization
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Activist Humanitarian group (a.g. Amnesty Intl)
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Environmental Organization (e.g., Sierra Club)
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Describe events, situations or people who have helped you to
understand what a "Higher Power" or God is all about.
·
Describe any dreams that you have had about a "Higher
Power" or God, and what they mean to you.
·
What have been your previous experiences with religion? How do
think that this does or does not relate to your experience with God as you
understand God.
Step 3 - I make a decision to
turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand God
·
What are your greatest fears about giving up control over your life
to God as you understand God?
·
What things, people or circumstances have you tried to control in
the past and how has that turned out? Do you think that God will be able to
handle your life better than you have?
·
How do you feel in general about turning your life over to God?
·
In what ways will you keep up the process of turning your life over
to God? Possibilities include going to religious services, 12 Step meetings,
meeting with others in recovery, writing a journal, service to others,
meditation, reading, physical exercise, contacting your sponsor or engaging in
therapy.
·
How would you answer the question "Who am I"?
·
How would you answer the question "Who is God"? In other
words, describe God as you understand God.
·
Describe who or what you trust and to what degree.
·
In what do you find meaning now or think that you can find meaning
in the future?
·
How do you think that you should live your life after giving your
life over to the care of God as you understand God? What changes do you expect
to make and how will this look in specific detail?
·
How do you plan to celebrate or honor this step of turning your
life over to the care of God?
·
Describe any celebration or honoring activity that you have
actually made in turning your life over to the care of God.
Step 4 - I make a searching and
fearless moral inventory of myself
·
Have you had any broken relationships? If so, describe them and how
they hurt others or yourself. Describe any grudges, anger or resentment that
you have over these relationships.
·
Have you ever felt self-righteous? Explain when and the
circumstances. Was this justified? Elaborate.
·
What events or triggers have caused you to begin your addictive
behaviors in the past? Describe situations, feelings, events, food or people
that you seem to be a part of your life just before or during your addictive
behaviors.
·
Have you ever held a grudge? Did you try to get revenge? If so,
explain the situation and how it played out, including whether or not someone
else was hurt.
·
Describe times that you have been oversensitive. Did this ever
damage your relationship with others, or were you just trying to keep your own
boundaries?
·
Describe the faults that you most detest in others. Do you have any
of these traits yourself?
·
Put a checkmark beside any of the following traits that you despise
in others. Also check whether you see these traits in yourself.
Traits that I Despise
in Others
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Trait
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In Others
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In Myself
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Trait
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In Others
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In Myself
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Selfishness
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Greedy
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Cowardice
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Snobbish
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Dishonesty
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Sarcastic
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Fearfulness
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Hypercritical
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Controlling
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Gossip
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Manipulative
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Tightwad
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Intimidating
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Harsh
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Power-hungry
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Unforgiving
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Possessive
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Verbally abusive
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Prejudiced
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Physically abusive
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Overly dependent
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Sexually abusive
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Procrastinating
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Impatient
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Judgmental
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Adulterous
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Preoccupied
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Sneakiness
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Lying
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Ungrateful
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Cheating
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Cynical
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Intolerant
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Bitter
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Self-Pitying
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Full of Rage
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Jealous
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Envious
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Insecure
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·
Have you failed to do things that you KNOW that you should have
done? If so, then explain in detail.
·
What are your fears? How have they caused you difficulty in your
life?
·
Describe your relationship with your friends, co-workers or
neighbors. Is there something that you wish that you could do over again? If
so, explain in detail.
·
Describe your relationships with your family of origin. Do you have
conflicts with any siblings or with your parents? Are you avoiding these
matters in your family?
·
Describe the earliest memories of your life. Did you share a
similar personality with those in your family or were they very different than
you? Do you think that these similarities o differences caused problems in your
life? If so, explain.
·
If you were to describe your family's major themes, what would they
be?
·
Describe your relationships with your nuclear family (spouse and
children) if that is different now from your family of origin. Is there
anything that you wish that you could erase from this part of your life?
·
Describe in detail any major experiences in your life that you
believe changed your life forever afterwards (good or bad).
·
What decisions have you made in your life that made a significant
impact on your life? How did you go about making those decisions?
·
How much of your life have you used up already? If you drew a time
line of your life, where would you be now?
·
Put your major experiences and major decisions on a timeline. Is
there a pattern of any kind?
·
What are you most ashamed of in your life?
·
Do you see any patterns in your addictive behaviors? If so, explain
them in detail.
·
What have you done to cover and conceal your addictive behaviors?
What other deceptions did this lead to?
·
What kind of personality do you exhibit at home? At school? At
work? When no-one is around?
·
What is so shameful in your life that you would not want to tell
anyone? Who would you hurt if you told this?
·
Write a summary of the highlights of your fourth step.
·
How would you like to share your fourth step summary? What details
would you like to make sure that are known? Write these details down in your
summary and prepare the summary for presentation in your fifth step.
·
Describe anycelebrations or honoring activities that you hae done
to honor the completion of your 4th step.
Step 5 - I admit to God, to
myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs
·
After working through the fourth step questions, what do you
realize about your limitations and capabilities?
·
Describe any person who has helped you to see yourself more clearly
and objectively in your process of recovery and of life.
·
What qualities would you like to have in a sponsor? How do the
people in the list of possible sponsors measure up to these criteria?
·
Write down the names of the most trustworthy people that you know.
Do you think that they would be willing or interested in being a sponsor for
you?
·
Describe your feelings and expectations about sharing your fifth
step with your sponsor.
·
List people that you can think of that you might share your
story with. Write whether you think that they are a safe, risky or a bad choice
to work your 5th step with.
Person
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Safe,
Risky or Bad choice
|
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·
Describe who you have chosen to be your sponsor and how they
reacted when you approached them.
·
Describe what it was like in sharing the fifth step. How did you
feel before, after and during the process? Are you glad that you have done
this?
·
Describe any celebrations or activities that you have done in honor
of completing the fifth step.
Step 6 - I become entirely ready
to have God remove all of these defects of character
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Do you have any fairy tales or myths that you feel a special
affinity with? Why?
·
Describe situations and events where you have been full of pride.
What has this brought into your life that you like or enjoy? What problems has
it caused you?
·
Describe the kind of activities do you really enjoy (of course, NOT
your addictive behavior).
·
What are some healthy eating or exercise habits that you could
start?
·
What are some unhealthy eating habits that you could give up?
·
Describe some secret GOOD deeds that you have done or would like to
do.
·
Describe situations and events where you have been greedy, oerly
needy or materialistic. What has this brought into your life that you like or
enjoy? What problems has it caused you? Are you ready to give these attitudes
over to the care of God?
·
Describe situations and events where you have given in to lust
without regard for others or any morality. What has this brought into your life
that you like or enjoy? What problems has it caused you? Are you ready to give
these lustful feelings over to the power of God?
·
Describe situations and events where you have been dishonest. What
has this brought into your life that you like or enjoy? What problems has it
caused you? Are you ready to depend upon God to keep you from dishonesty?
·
Describe situations and events where you have given into excessive
eating, drinking, shopping or covetousness. What has this brought into your
life that you like or enjoy? What problems has it caused you? Are you ready to
let God take control of these behaviors and attitudes?
·
Describe situations and events where you have been very envious or
jealous of others. What has this brought into your life that you like or enjoy?
What problems has it caused you? Are your ready to turn these situations over
to God?
·
Describe situations and events where you have avoided
responsibility for your actions or lack of actions. What has this brought into
your life that you like or enjoy? What problems has it caused you? Are you
ready to allow God to help you take responsibility for your actions?
·
List your major defects of character.
·
What do you plan to do when these major defects of character begin
to become evident? List each defect individually along with the proposed
preventative behavior and how you will allow God to help you in your battle
against these defects.
Step 7 - I humbly ask God to
remove my shortcomings
·
What defects will be most difficult to give up? In what order to
you plan to give them up?
·
What kind of situations, stressors or pressures cause you to
regress back into your defects of character? What can you do to lessen the
likelihood of that stress occurring?
·
Where do you feel most supported and helped in your strivings for
recovery?
·
What makes you lose hope? Can you avoid such situations? If so,
then how?
·
What (person, situation, event, thought) restores your hope? Is
there a way to maximize those influences? If so, then how?
·
What would you like to recapture in your life?
·
Describe in detail what you think that your life will be like with
your defects of character removed from you.
·
What are you grateful for?
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When do you think that life has been especially good for you? When
did you have the greatest joy?
·
Describe your typical day's activities in terms of how much time
you spend on each type of activity.
·
Describe your typical day's activities if you knew that you had
only one year to live.
·
Have you made the correct decisions about how to spend time with
loved ones, in solitude and with your discretionary time? If not, how would you
like to change it?
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What would you do if you were granted three wishes?
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What do you think that you can do to leave the world a better place
and accomplish your mission in life?
Step 8 - I make a list of
persons that I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all
·
How have you hurt yourself by practicing your addiction?
·
What important relationships did you destroy or damage because of
your addictive behaviors?
·
How much time and energy have you lost from your addictive
behaviors? What do you think you would have done or become had it not been for
your addictive behaviors?
·
Make a list of all those that you have possibly harmed by your
addictive behaviors. List the effect on them as individuals and on your
relationship.
·
Take the list of people that you have harmed and make a list of
possible amends for each one of them.
·
From the list of possible amends, choose the ones that seem most
appropriate, and mark them according to level of difficulty.
·
What consequences do you fear in making amends? What is the worst
thing that can happen? What is the best thing that can happen? What is likely
to happen?
·
Do you feel angry or resentful towards any people on your amends
list? If so, write them a letter of anger, but don't send it to them. Describe
here any other ways that you have used to get rid of the anger and resentment
towards anyone on your list.
·
Describe any dreams that relate to making amends to others.
Step 9 - I make direct amends to
such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
·
What amends do you think that you have already made? These can
include apologies already made, helpful tasks for those that you have hurt,
changed attitudes and so forth.
·
From your list of amends, if there are apologies that you need to
make, write them down here first.
·
Read your apologies to a friend or a sponsor and ask them if it
sounds sincere or if it sounds defensive or like an attack on the other person.
Record here what response they have about them.
·
Role play with your sponsor or friends for anything that you are
going to say when making amends. Record here how these practice sessions went
and what you learned.
·
After you have had your first encounter with making amends, record
what happened here. How did you feel about it? How did the other person
respond? What have you learned from this? What would you do differently next
time?
·
After you have done your first several encounters for making amends
(for example, after 5 times of making amends), record your overall impressions
here. Is there anything common? Has anything surprised you? Has anything
disappointed you? How do you feel about the process and how has it affected
you?
·
What amends do you have the most difficulty making? What do you
need to do to be able to make these amends?
·
How has making amends affected your relationship with others?
·
How are you dealing with the feedback from others after making
amends? How are you feeling? How are you dealing with the desire to defend
yourself?
·
Write down any other amends that you found that you needed to make
after starting the process of making amends.
·
How can you celebrate or honor the completion of your making amends
(step 9)?
·
Have you had any dreams about making amends? If so, describe them
in detail.
·
Describe any celebrations or activities that you have done to honor
the completion of your making amends.
Step 10 - I continue to take
personal inventory and when I am wrong I promptly admit it
·
What is your plan to allow time for reflection each day?
·
What new behaviors would you like to try to make your program more
effective? How would you go about implementing these?
·
What kind of behaviors and attitudes do you need to be most
vigilant against to keep from your addictive behaviors?
·
What are your triggers for addictive behavior? How can you guard
against them or prepare for them?
·
What are some amends or remedies that you should make when you find
out that you are wrong?
Step 11 - Through prayer and
meditation I seek to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand God,
praying only for knowledge of God's will for my life and the power to carry
that out
·
Can you recall anytime that your life was heading in the wrong
direction? If so, what brought you back? Describe this in detail.
·
How would you describe your beliefs about God and a Higher Power to
a child?
·
What are your favorite sources of wisdom and knowledge abot healthy
values?
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Has anything you ever read convinced you to change in some
fundamental or deep way?
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If you were stranded on a desert island with only one book, which
book would you take? Why?
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If you had only one week to live and unlimited resources, who would
you gather around you and how would you pass the time?
·
Write out a complete form of what you would like your obituary to
say.
·
What do you believe will happen to you after you die?
Step 12 - Having had a spiritual
awakening as the result of these steps, I try to carry this message to others
and to practice these principles in all of my life
·
Have you been able to reach out to another recovering addict? If
so, describe the situation and how it feels to you.
·
What kind of approach would you like to have had when you first
started the program? How can you implement that type of approach in your life
to others now?
·
What you say if someone asked how the 12 Step program has worked
for you?
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How do you usually handle conflict? Do you know of any way to be
more effective in conflict resolution? If so, how would you become more
effective? What would be the steps?
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How much time do you want to and are able to allow for working with
others on their program? How will you go about setting that time aside?
·
What outside resources can you call on when you need help as a
sponsor?
·
How do you know if you are suited to helping another person work a
12 Step program?
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