Adventblogger: July 2019

Tuesday 9 July 2019

Parenting Skills #2 Humility

WHAT IS HUMILITY?

Humble people are respectful. They do not behave arrogantly, nor do they expect others to treat them as special. Rather, a person with humility takes genuine interest in others and is willing to learn from them.

Sometimes humility is misjudged as a weakness. In reality, it is a strength that helps people recognize their faults and acknowledge their limitations. 􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀

WHY IS HUMILITY IMPORTANT?

Humility benefits relationships. “Overall, humble people are more connected to others,” says the book The Narcissism Epidemic. It adds that such people find it “easier to relate to other people and the wider world.”
Humility benefits your child’s future. Learning to be humble will help your child both now and later in life—for example, when seeking employment. “The young person with bloated self-esteem, unaware of her own deficiencies, is unlikely to do well in the job interview,” writes Dr. Leonard Sax. “But the young per- son who is genuinely interested in what the recruiter has to say is more likely to get
the job.”􏰁 􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀􏰀

HOW TO TEACH HUMILITY
Encourage a balanced view of self.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “If anyone thinks he is some- thing when he is nothing, he is deceiving him- self.”—Galatians 6:3.

Avoid misleading maxims. Sayings like “All your dreams can come true” and “You can be anything that you want to be” might sound inspiring, but they often do not prove true in real life. Your children will likely be more successful if they have reasonable goals and work hard to achieve them.
Praise specific actions. Simply telling a child that he or she is “awesome” does not encourage humility. Be specific.
Limit your child’s use of social media. Often, social media is linked with self-promotion —broadcasting a person’s talents and accomplishments—the very opposite of humility.
Encourage your child to apologize quickly. Help your child to see where he is wrong and to acknowledge it.

TRAIN NOW

A child who learns to perform humble tasks at home is more likely to work well with others as an adult

Promote gratitude.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Show yourselves thankful.” —Colossians 3:15.

Gratitude for creation. Children should appreciate nature and how much we depend on it for survival. We need air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat. Use these examples to instill appreciation, awe, and gratitude for the wonders of the natural world.
Gratitude for people. Remind your child that everyone is superior to him in one way or another and that instead of being jealous of others’ skills and abilities, he can learn from them.
Expressing gratitude. Teach your children to say “thank you,” not just with words but with genuine appreciation. A grateful spirit has been called a building block of humility.

Teach your children that there is value in serving others.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “With humility consider others superior to you, as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.”—Philippians 2:3, 4.

Expect your child to do chores. Exempting your child from family chores might give him the message, ‘You are too important to do this!’ Family duties should come first, and playing second. Point out how chores benefit others and how others will appreciate and respect him for doing them.
Emphasize that serving others is a privilege. Doing so is a primary way to develop maturity. Therefore, encourage your child to identify those in need. Discuss with him what he can do to help them. Commend and support your child as he serves others.

Teach by Example

Do I let my children know that at times I also need help from others?
Do I speak positively and appreciatively about others, or do I belittle them?
Do my children see that I value serving others?

What We Did . . .
“Our daughter told us about a classmate who, she said, is mean to others and is not liked. I told her to think of what that girl might be going through at home. After all, not everybody has a good family life. That helped our daughter to see that she is not better than others. She may just have better circumstances.”—Karen.

“We encourage our daughters to enjoy what they learn in school and simply to do their best without comparing themselves to others. We want them to know that we will not compare them to others either.”—Marianna.

Shower Power - Without Love

Radiance Acappella - Sweet Hour of Prayer

Radiance Acappella - In his hands

Monday 8 July 2019

Parenting Skills: #1 SELF-CONTROL

WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL?

Self-control includes the ability to

̆ delay gratification
̆ restrain impulses
̆ complete unpleasant tasks
̆ put others before self

WHY IS SELF-CONTROL IMPORTANT?
Children who have greater self-control can resist temptation, even if the temptation promises short-term rewards. In contrast, children with less self-control may be more likely to

be aggressive
suffer depression
smoke or abuse alcohol or drugs
make poor choices in what they eat

One study found that children with greater self-control were less likely, as adults, to have health issues, financial stress, and problems with the law. That study led Professor Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania to conclude: “There may be no such thing as ‘too much’ self-control.”

HOW TO TEACH SELF-CONTROL
Learn to say no and mean it.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Let your word ‘Yes’ mean yes, your ‘No,’ no.”—Matthew 5:37.
Young children might test a parent’s resolve by throwing a tantrum—perhaps even in public. If the parent gives in, the child learns that tantrums are an effective way to get a no changed to a yes.

Saying no to your child now will help him to say no to himself later in life—for example, if he is tempted to take drugs or to engage in other harmful practices

On the other hand, if the parent says no and means it, the child learns a basic fact of life—that we cannot always get what we want. “Ironically, people who learn that lesson seem to be the most fulfilled,” writes Dr. David Walsh. “We’re not doing our kids any favors when we teach them that the world will always serve up whatever they want on a silver platter.”􏰁

Saying no to your child now will help him to say no to himself later in life—for example, if he is tempted to take drugs, have premarital sex, or engage in other harmful practices.

􏰁 From the book No: Why Kids—of All Ages—Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It.

Help your children to understand consequences, both good and bad.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Whatever a person is sowing, this he will also reap.”—Galatians 6:7.

Your child needs to understand that actions have consequences and that a lack of self-control will therefore have undesirable results. For example, if your son typically loses his temper when he gets upset, others may tend to avoid him. On the other hand, if he develops the ability to restrain himself when provoked—or to wait patiently rather than interrupt—people will be drawn to him. Help your child understand that he is more likely to have good outcomes when he practices self-restraint.

Teach your child to prioritize.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Make sure of the more important things.”—Philippians 1:10.

Self-control is not just a matter of holding back from doing wrong; it includes doing what is necessary, even when this is not particularly exciting or fun. It is important for your child to learn how to establish priorities and stick to them. Have your child do the important things first. For example, he should put homework before recreation.

Be a good role model.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “I set the pattern for you, that just as I did to you, you should also do.”—John 13:15.

Your child will see how you respond to unpleasant or frustrating situations. Demonstrate by your example that self-control leads to better outcomes. For example, when your child tests your patience, do you react with anger or do you remain calm?